existence is an
act of cruelty performed
by life — tenderness
captures possibilities
life itself never dreamed of

My dreams last night centred upon a friend from my university days, and the quality of caring between us. In the dream, I was somehow surprised by the complete lack of competitiveness amongst the group of Cambridge friends of whom I was part. In real life when I was at Cambridge, there were faint hints of something like this, at the edges of my awareness, but I was much too shy and unhappy ever to feel properly included in the community of male students at my all-male college. I just got a taste of it sometimes, sitting in a pub, always at the edges of the conversation.


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