accountability

consumerism
— a beast fathered and denied,
petted and reviled
in a single instant by
the same person — always me

How do I live with myself, knowing myself implicated in such a rotten world? Sometimes I catch sight of a situation where it’s as if we eat, sleep and breathe moral cowardice. Moral cowardice is much more integral to the human condition than anyone ever remotely admits to themselves or can admit to themselves. In my dream, I was on holiday with Liz, and we found ourselves being offered various kindnesses (food, parties, hospitality, conversation, sharing in general) by the other families on the same holiday. It was a kind of solidarity in consumerism. The chalets seemed to be designed in order to show off wealth in as ostentatious and tasteless a fashion as possible. And yet it all seemed the most natural thing in the world. Probably sparked by a conversation with Liz a few days ago, about Kavos, the tourist destination in Corfu where we holidayed in 2007.

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