self-defeat

emotionally
blunt, I even cultivate
bluntness ā€” unable
or unwilling to see through
my own confusion of soul

This strange little poem relates only distantly to last night’s dreams. I dreamed I was cooking the filling of a samosa and trying to get it tender enough. Awake, I thought of tenderness in the emotional sense. The dream might suggest somehow a deliberate cultivation of tenderness. I started thinking about my own emotional life, and my emotional characteristics. I feel blunt in relation to most people. I don’t ever seem to ‘get’ the skilful fluidity between tenderness and viciousness which social banter involves. Or if I do, my efforts continually fall flat in a galumphing way.

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