questions for the microcosm

why do we matter?
— and what if we don’t? — am I
the source of my own
caring? — how to fathom my
infinite unfeelingness?

Dream images included that of a school bully — a figure from real life in 1970 who had been a close friend, but who became slightly power drunk when he began developing muscles aged thirteen. Yesterday I chanced to bump into two different friends independently, from previous eras of my life. I’ve bumped into both of them before, but with both it was more difficult on this occasion. I have done better for myself than either of them, in terms of having a job and having a life partner whom I love. I guess I might appear to them a little like the school bully, as there is an element of denying the previous close friendship which went before.

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