Friday 31 January

sometimes I think my
life is one big neurotic
escape from the truth

Thursday 30 January

I have been trying
to wash my hands of my own
moral cowardice

Wednesday 29 January

to be fair, I tried
telling myself how lucky
I was — many a
child would kill for the chance to
be miserable at Cambridge

Tuesday 28 January

confession leads to
self-knowledge and ignorance
— both at the same time

Monday 27 January

things matter — each step
of the stumbling way and with
every successive
twist of misunderstanding,
my nonchalance loses face

Sunday 26 January

there is only one
prayer God hears or understands
— one prayer to which I
keep returning all my life —
the song of the Perfect Fool

Saturday 25 January

I wish I possessed
the clear sight of a mirror
to go back in time
— find out what I could have done
or said or thought differently